Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

The Upside

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I’ve been trying to add another entry for days.  I’ve just been too busy or whatever and it didn’t happen.  I lay in bed at night and form the words in my mind.  I still have the thoughts but I’m going to save those for another post.  I was inspired to write something different today.

My sister and brother in law came over this weekend.  They are about 75 minutes away.  Not the end of the world, but far enough that we don’t get together as much as we would like to.  When Tim was sick, and for months and months after he died, both of my sisters took turns staying the weekend with me so I wasn’t alone.  Crazy dedication.

My brother in law Stan still comes out when he can to do my “Honey-Do” lists for me.  (My dad stays with me on Wednesdays and does all kinds of odd jobs for me too.)  On the way here, they stopped at my dad’s to take some measurements for something they are fixing for him.  Up bright and early Saturday morning, Stan cleaned out all the gutters on my property and hooked up the heat tapes for me.  Lisa helped and then cleaned my house.  After that, Stan and I started winterizing the property.  We filled 8 large garbage cans from cuttings and ran out of space.  We stored some furniture away.  I finally cried “UNCLE” because I was so exhausted.  (I also found out I have a separated shoulder which causes me some grief sometimes).   He kept working.

They got up early this morning to leave because they are spending the day at Dad’s trying to fix the nightmare door project they worked on til dark LAST weekend…..   Thier entire weekend off is being spent helping other people.  Did I mention they both work full time plus have second jobs?

While all this was going on, my friend Karen has been making new web sites for me.  She would never say so, but I’m sure she was frustrated.  I didn’t answer the phones or emails most of the day because I was outside working.  She does things for me all week long, seven days a week, any time of the day or night.

So while my post was going to be about how difficult the month of October is for me, I laid in bed humbled by the generosity of others.  I have so many, many people in my life who sacrifice and give and help and offer and share and and and and….   Yes, life is hard at times for most of us.  But there is also much good and inspiration out there.  Today, I will focus on that instead.

Author: Help for Healing

My name is Darcy Thiel. What people say they appreciate most about me is my genuine nature. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. My career has many faces, so let me tell you about a few. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State and am a couple and family therapist. As an Adult Planning Specialist and End of Life Doula, I take my experiences with my parents’ and husband's illnesses and passing to help others navigate the crazy, complicated medical world we live in. This dovetails with the books I have written. Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven is an honest and raw perspective on coping with the diagnosis and subsequent loss of Tim, my spouse. I have done extensive speaking on the above topics through live audiences, radio shows, and an occasional TV spot. For more information, see my websites at,, or Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2019. All rights reserved.

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