So I cry, probably more frequently than other people. I read somewhere that the tears that come from joy or sadness are of a different chemical makeup than other kinds of tears (like from onions, wind, etc.). Tears from emotions supposedly have healing elements to them, so there is truth to “feeling better after a good cry.” I should be feeling pretty good after 46 years of crying 🙂
Today I lost it in Wendy’s parking lot. Brigitte was with me and we were doing our usual running around to promote the book. Her latest wild (and looks to be successful) idea is that we need to get into colleges. The book could be very helpful in philosophy classes that discuss death and dying, and also in medical classes that talk about patient care. Today was our first meeting at one of the campuses here in Buffalo.
Overall, things have been wildly successful. The article comes out Saturday in the Buffalo News in their new section called “Refresh”. AM Buffalo airs on Monday and I will be on that in the second half of the show. I am awaiting an interview that will be in the West Seneca Bee, hopefully next week. And the big launch is going to be Saturday. The details are coming together and it’s going to be a smashing event.
So why the tears? God only knows. I’m just plain exhausted and overwhelmed. Can’t get everything done. But there is also an emotional element. I know that Tim would be thrilled with this book. I know it can help lots and lots of people. But there is still this awkward feeling that nags at me. I am getting “noticed” and being “successful”, largely because my husband died. I know he didn’t “die in vain” as they say. I know this is doing something positive with this experience. But nevertheless, he is gone. And we all miss him. So no matter what good happens, it is still “wrong” too.
Just hit me while I was typing. It’s the epitome of “bitter and sweet”, is it not? Guess if nothing else, I pick good titles!!