Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

Intangible Rewards


People ask me often how the book is doing. I answer that monetarily, I’ve not recovered what I’ve invested yet. It’s no exaggeration when people say authors don’t make money. They really don’t. But the intangible rewards have been outstanding!

I love hearing how the book has effected people. I love hearing that someone has been helped in some way. I’ve heard myself having a couple of conversations lately with brand new widows and what I keep saying is “No, you are not having a nervous breakdown.” They feel such relief knowing that their grief is “normal” because they feel anything but normal. Crying over a pair of shoes is NOT over the top. It’s just what we do.

As I work on the second book and keep pulling out the journal entries I wrote the first months after Tim died, I find I am torn. There is such an edge to them. They are so uncomfortable to read sometimes. My instinct is to tone them down. Make them sound less dramatic. Make me look less crazy.

But I haven’t been allowing myself to do that, at least not yet. One of the wisest pieces of feedback about the first book I got was from a counselor. She said the punch in the first book is that it was written originally in the moments it was happening to us. It wasn’t just our best shot at remembering how it was. They were real-time entries. That is why people can really identify with it.

So I imagine that people who are truly grieving will want to read the true, unadulterated and raw emotions that I went through. Because those that are brave enough to admit it, will be grateful to know they aren’t crazy after all. At least with this round of editing, I will let the pain stay expressed as it is. And it is truly comforting to know that two and a half years later, you do somehow feel better. You really do!!

Author: Help for Healing

My name is Darcy Thiel. What people say they appreciate most about me is my genuine nature. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. My career has many faces, so let me tell you about a few. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State and am a couple and family therapist. As an Adult Planning Specialist and End of Life Doula, I take my experiences with my parents’ and husband's illnesses and passing to help others navigate the crazy, complicated medical world we live in. This dovetails with the books I have written. Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven is an honest and raw perspective on coping with the diagnosis and subsequent loss of Tim, my spouse. I have done extensive speaking on the above topics through live audiences, radio shows, and an occasional TV spot. For more information, see my websites at,, or Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2019. All rights reserved.

3 thoughts on “Intangible Rewards

  1. Keep it real, Darcy! Love ya! 🙂

  2. I’m so glad that you have done this work. I am working on a memoir of the same kind. It has been over 3 years, but still very hard to get through writing & organizing, and just re-living it all.

  3. Darcy,
    Can you tell me why you your book is not avail in ebook form? Just curious, as I walk through this process.
    Thank you,

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