Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

Not Meant To Be


Some things just aren’t meant to be.

Last night, we hoped to go see the fireworks in East Aurora. They have the best ones I’ve seen around here by far. Of course, the weather has been on, off, on, off so we didn’t know if they would happen. I called the police station and they said they were still on at 10:00 PM. Then it would rain a little, so I would call back. Same answer. Nice guy that kept answering.

I started having other people call on their cells because I felt stupid calling again. We decide to go and at 9:00 PM it starts pouring. Pouring. We decide to play some cards and see if it clears up. At 9:20 PM we call and yep, fireworks at 10:00 PM. We got there about 9:35 PM and people were leaving and coming all at the same time. I call the police one more time and he says politely, “They are doing them right now.” Sure enough, we could hear them. They started them early!

By the time we parked the car and started to walk, we picked the only street with no crossroads and walked entirely around the park. When we finally hit a visible spot, we literally saw the finale. Ok, we heard the finally. They were the loudest fireworks I’ve ever heard. (Or maybe I’m just getting old?) We had to laugh because we just weren’t meant to see them, no matter how great they were. We had a nice, long walk in the drizzling rain though 🙂

Still good to be with friends. We were going to come back and sit in the hot tub but it was lightning by then so everyone went home or to sleep instead.

I worry about whether keeping my house is just “not meant to be” sometimes. It was a bad week for that topic. I got an electric bill that showed my budget rate went up over $80/month. Surely that was a mistake. I called. Nope, our “consumption” has almost doubled in the last couple of years. “Ma’am, did something change in your house two years ago?” Yep, something huge changed two years ago. My husband died. Wouldn’t you think the bill would go down with one less adult consuming electricity? That didn’t make sense. I told the guy maybe my husband went around the house yelling at everyone to turn the lights off…

The salt generator on my pool bit the dust last week. After about 10 or 12 phone calls, I finally found the only place in western New York that services them. Half hour drive, miscommunication, rude sales people. It’s an almost $400 repair. Tomorrow’s to-do list includes fighting with the company to cover it by warranty. It’s a $2000 part and I missed the warranty by a week. So far they are refusing to cover it. Ain’t that a pisser.

The camper is being picked up next week. My dad is frantically trying to make sure everything works so we spent the day bickering yesterday. In between all the other chaos, he wanted me to find information, locate the missing electric piece, and fill the propane tank (for someone else that is buying the camper), all of which I didn’t want to deal with. I didn’t have time to, and frankly didn’t think we needed to go beyond the call of duty knowing I sold the camper at a low price and the agreement was made it would be taken “as is.”

While all that is going on, I am cleaning out the hot tub. I have to drain it, then clean the sides. We broke our new hose a couple of days ago so the old one is back on. In the middle of it, the old hose splits and water is squirting everywhere. Have to figure this one out fast because I have to work soon. Gotta earn money to pay for camper parts, pool repairs, and new hoses.

It’s very circus-like here some days and at those times I usually think I just need to sell my dream house and get a tiny little place for Frankie and I. Today though, I can almost laugh at the comedy of errors the last few days. Almost, but not quite. Happy Birthday, America. I’m gonna celebrate by taking a quiet nap 🙂

Author: Help for Healing

My name is Darcy Thiel. What people say they appreciate most about me is my genuine nature. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. My career has many faces, so let me tell you about a few. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State and am a couple and family therapist. As an Adult Planning Specialist and End of Life Doula, I take my experiences with my parents’ and husband's illnesses and passing to help others navigate the crazy, complicated medical world we live in. This dovetails with the books I have written. Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven is an honest and raw perspective on coping with the diagnosis and subsequent loss of Tim, my spouse. I have done extensive speaking on the above topics through live audiences, radio shows, and an occasional TV spot. For more information, see my websites at,, or Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2019. All rights reserved.

10 thoughts on “Not Meant To Be

  1. This paragraph is truly a nice one it assists new web viewers, who are wishing in
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  2. Oh, Darcy. It has been a rough go lately, hasn’t it? You have a beautiful home, family, and life! You make ours happier as well. Take care of yourself. After a good nap, things should look better! Let’s get together next week! Love you!

  3. Darcy, maybe the fireworks weren’t meant to be (the walk was fun) but the time spent playing cards and everybody getting to know each other better was meant to be. An enjoyable time was had by all. sorry you are feeling kinda blah but tomorrow is another day. I am pretty good at calling organizations for things so if you need help with your warranty let me know. I have your back.. love you!

  4. Wow, Darcy, you have some great friends there. Remember the grace of receiving and take them up on it. Not being a bossy pants, just know that is what I tend to forget…grace of rcving.
    Take care and know that you have better days coming. (now I’m a bossy psychic!)

  5. I’m sorry you are having such a bad week. When it rains it does seem to pour. Hopefully you are getting it all out of the way the first week of July and will be able to relax and enjoy the rest of the summer.

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