Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

Vacations and Women

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So I’m on vacation. I was “supposed to” blog yesterday but didn’t get to it. I am sitting here this morning saying “What should I blog about?” and my girls say “Vacation!”

Going on vacation with your ya-yas is very different from going on vacation with your significant other or your kids. It would probably sound like a nightmare to a man, but you women who are ya-yas at heart will totally get it.

There are three of us here. We got up at 4 AM yesterday in order to catch our flights. We got here, got our rental car, went to the liquor store (priorities), the grocery store, the Farmer’s Market, and then McDonald’s. We arrived at my friend’s brother’s house and we stood on the porch with our jaws hitting the ground. Gorgeous area, phenomenal house. Holy crap, we are really on vacation!! We blend up our banana liquor drinks, eat our yummy lunches and head to the beach.

We talk and talk and talk. We figure out that none of us (1 in her 30’s, 1 in her 40’s, and 1 in her 50’s) have ever gone on a vacation with our girlfriends before. I’ve gone on overnight trips, but never a full-blown get on a plane vacation.

The beach is perfect. The sand is hot, but the ocean is warm. One gets stung by a jellyfish but decides she even loves that too, just because its never happened before. This morning we are all laying around the screened-in porch, talking intimately about our lives. At different points, we all cry. Like I said, a nightmare for a guy but it was just what the doctor ordered for us.

One describes being in the ocean waves and feeling the stress literally leave her body. THIS is what she needed. To get away. To gain perspective. To just stop being the “go-to” person. To just soak in rejuvenation. We share moments about being mothers and the way our kids touch our lives so deeply.

And I am personally working on being alone. Sounds silly when you are with your friends. With your great friends. But it’s not that kind of alone. It’s the “I don’t have a partner” alone. I feel it from head to toe, this burning kind of sensation, especially in my chest and stomach. I talk about how much I hate this part of me, but I need to embrace this part of me. How do I do that? And my dear friend sheds a tear as I talk.

We are heading out to explore Charleston now. We are rested, have had our cries. And it’s really, really good. Vacation with the girls. I think this will have to be an annual event. It cleanses the soul, don’t you think?

Author: Help for Healing

My name is Darcy Thiel. What people say they appreciate most about me is my genuine nature. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. My career has many faces, so let me tell you about a few. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State and am a couple and family therapist. As an Adult Planning Specialist and End of Life Doula, I take my experiences with my parents’ and husband's illnesses and passing to help others navigate the crazy, complicated medical world we live in. This dovetails with the books I have written. Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven is an honest and raw perspective on coping with the diagnosis and subsequent loss of Tim, my spouse. I have done extensive speaking on the above topics through live audiences, radio shows, and an occasional TV spot. For more information, see my websites at,, or Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2019. All rights reserved.

One thought on “Vacations and Women

  1. So happy to hear that you are making the most of being away on a well-deserved vacation, Darcy! Enjoy!!!

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