Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

Solving Problems in Bed

2 Comments

Did I get your attention with that title? I can’t wait to see what kind of followers I get this week- lol.

Those of you who have read Bitter and Sweet may remember the story about Tim and I purchasing an adjustable king-size bed. When he was sick, he couldn’t lay the same way so he slept for several weeks on the recliner in the living room. After a bunch of research, we purchased a new bed. We opted for a split bed so that each of us could move the bed up or down and not bother the other. We thought we were pretty smart.

We were so excited the first night to be able to sleep in the same room again. However, we learned almost immediately that the split bed was a bad idea. What it did is make for a very uncomfortable crack down the middle of the bed. You either had to sleep a mile away from each other, or both squeeze into a twin-size bed.

I did some research on line and of course there was actually a product for such problems. I spent about $80 for a fleece piece that you put over the center of the crack and then it straps around the mattresses. That created another problem. I had to find sheets on line that you could buy separately. We had extra long twin fitted sheets for the mattresses, then had a king top sheet. With the fleece down the middle, you couldn’t have separate fitted sheets so I had to buy king fitted sheets. What a pain in the butt.

And it didn’t work. The fleece wasn’t very wide and all that happened was it would get pushed down the crack in the middle. Then when Frankie started coming into bed, he purposely pushed the mattresses apart and made a cave for himself to sleep in. Problems.

After Tim died, I tried a couple of times to put the bed on Craig’s list. Never even got offers. Can’t trade them in cuz the stores won’t take em back. While it’s adjustable, it’s not a hospital bed as there are no rails. Can’t really donate them to Hospice or anything. So I just keep living with it.

Yesterday, I decided it was time to do something about it. Why yesterday did it become urgent? I have no idea but I just get that way sometimes. A friend told me about those foam mattresses you can put on top. I thought that was a brilliant idea. Off to Kohl’s I went. Brigitte met me there as she has the charge card and all the coupons. We found what we were looking for. For a cool $580, I could solve my bed problems.

I laughed out loud. Ain’t no way in hell I’m paying that. Could get a new bed for Peter’s sake!

Of course, you have probably gathered by now that Brigitte is the world’s best problem solver and need meeter around. She called her husband and he said he would come look at the bed. He could probably build something to keep the mattresses together. Then I would just have to special order a mattress pad cover and try to solve it that way. Sigh.

Then it hit me. Why don’t I just trade beds with Frankie?

When he got home from school I asked him and he could care less. He’s never in his room anyway. Both he and Colin sleep in the guest room. Go figure.

So Colin helped me drag that bed upstairs with all the mechanics attached. It took about an hour and I was dripping in sweat. And of course that started the next seven loads of laundry for all the bedding. And I wouldn’t want anyone to know what my floor looked like once the bed got moved. Yikes! So there was more cleaning…

My room looks so much bigger now. Frankie’s looks so much smaller. But I don’t have a crack down the middle of my bed. In the process of all this, somehow it became some kind of symbolic moment. Frankie hardly ever sleeps with me now. And it felt like Moving Forward. Putting the past to bed, so to speak.

Of course, I’ve almost fallen twice already. Once when I went to get up, and once when I sat down to put on my socks. It’s much lower and it’s obviously going to take me a long time to adjust my equilibrium.

Anyone know how to solve balance problems?

Author: helpforhealing

My name is Darcy Thiel. What people say they appreciate most about me is my genuine nature. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. My career has many faces, so let me tell you about a few. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State and am a couple and family therapist in West Seneca, New York. Also, as an Aging Life Care Manager, I take my life experiences with my mother and husband's illnesses and passing combined with over a decade of assisting a dad with Parkinson’s, to help others navigate the crazy, complicated medical world we live in. This dovetails with the books I have written. Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven are an honest and raw perspective on coping with the diagnosis and subsequent loss of Tim, my spouse. I have also done extensive speaking on the above topics through live audiences, radio shows, and even an occasional TV spot. For more information, see my websites at www.marriageandfamilycounseling.net, www.babycooppublishing.com, or www.darcythiel.com. Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2018. All rights reserved.

2 thoughts on “Solving Problems in Bed

  1. You always make me smile, Darcy!

  2. Darcy maybe you can try buying some bed risers. My daughter used them for her bed at college and it added about 4 inches in height. Try them out and keep us posted! More importantly though, its great to see such small things helping you move forward.

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