Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

Movies and Mistakes


I’ve always loved movies. I could care less about having a TV, but I would be lost without a DVD player. I generally watch a lot of movies, but lately I’ve really been immersed. I’ve been home a lot of nights and unable to figure out the mystery of how to get my kids to talk to me (about ANYTHING at all) so I’ve been watching even more movies than usual.

I watched one called “About Time.” It was an interesting and thought-provoking plot. The young male, upon on his 21st birthday, discovers that he can travel in time. There are a few rules, though. He can only go backwards to revisit things he had already experienced, no future time travel. So initially, he uses his new found ability to go back and correct mistakes and eliminate regrets. I thought about what I would do if I had that ability. There would never be anything to apologize for or wish you had handled differently.

He learns some things along the way. One thing, was that no matter how many times he revisited a certain situation, it never worked out the way he wanted. There are just some people you can’t please. No matter what. So there is really no point in wasting your time and energy trying. You finally learn to not bother.

Another poignant moment, was when he went back in time to help his sister alter her own life for the better. The scope of the effect was positively great, but he discovered his own child was no longer the same child when he went back to real time. Ah. His wise father explained that there is one sperm and one egg and if you change any circumstances whatsoever, the sperm changes and thus the human being. Once you have brought a child into the world, there is no going back to “redo” things in time after the moment of conception without altering your child’s very existence.

Maybe some things (including mistakes and heartaches), are part of the bigger picture and need to happen.

It was sad when the character’s dad dies, because they have an awesome relationship. But then you realize that even death has no grip. He could just time travel back to his favorite ping-pong game and spend time with his dad whenever he wanted. Holy cow, that would be really be something. A world without loss!

Until his wife gets pregnant again. And then he realizes, that for life to go on, he has to truly say goodbye to his dearly loved father (because he can’t go back once conception occurs).

Maybe some things are meant to end. Maybe even death is part of the big picture. Maybe relationships stop at some point. And maybe that is not some horrible limitation, but it is for the greater good.

The biggest lesson of all? He stopped time travelling. He stopped going back. He just let himself live day to day. He figured out life was best lived that way, mistakes and all.


Author: Help for Healing

My name is Darcy Thiel. What people say they appreciate most about me is my genuine nature. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. My career has many faces, so let me tell you about a few. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State and am a couple and family therapist. As an Adult Planning Specialist and End of Life Doula, I take my experiences with my parents’ and husband's illnesses and passing to help others navigate the crazy, complicated medical world we live in. This dovetails with the books I have written. Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven is an honest and raw perspective on coping with the diagnosis and subsequent loss of Tim, my spouse. I have done extensive speaking on the above topics through live audiences, radio shows, and an occasional TV spot. For more information, see my websites at,, or Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2019. All rights reserved.

2 thoughts on “Movies and Mistakes

  1. I need to see this movie, Darcy! You are so right; there is no pleasing some people but doing what you know to be right and good now that’s the way to live! And live in the moment; not to be too cliche’ but, ” these are the good old days!” 🙂

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