Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

Common Sense… A Lost Art?


I really don’t want my signature blog to be about complaints. And yet the things that motivate me to write lately, seem to be about things that irritate me. Do you have any stories you want to add? Here are some of mine from the last 24 hours.

Last night I went to my favorite karaoke place. I don’t get to go much anymore but I used to be a weekly regular. I was saying to someone that I wasn’t too thrilled with the bartender. The last time I was in the there he was friendly and fun. Yesterday he acted like he didn’t even know who I was. Just gave me a bad feeling. But the kicker was the end of the night. Bottom line, my bill was a whole $7.50. I gave him $22 and asked him if he could bring me a ten back. Now, that is about a 70% tip. 70%!! He came back with a five and five dollar bills. Waiters do that all the time. We know why they do it- they are expecting a tip and want you to have change to do it. I don’t really have a problem with that. I actually almost count on it sometimes.

But after I already gave him a 70% tip? I was incredulous. I thought maybe he misunderstood or didn’t know what the bill was. I asked him if he got the tip I already gave him and he just said yes and stared at me. I couldn’t believe it. I was disgusted. He gave me crappy service to begin with, I over-tipped him anyway in light of the Christmas spirit, and then he had the balls to imply he wanted more. I cussed all the way home.

Today started out great as well. I’ve already mentioned I’m burning the candle at both ends so I don’t appreciate a bunch of nonsense added to an already daunting list. Frankie’s bus came over 30 minutes late this morning. The roads were pretty bad. I got a call from the school later that said Frankie was absent from school. If you are a parent, you know what that does to your heart. I called administration and politely but firmly asked them if they thought their policy made sense to take attendance before their buses even arrived. She thought that was probably a bad idea and patched me through to the proper school office.

The next woman I talked to was brilliant. I asked her the same question and I was told they extended homeroom but took attendance anyway. Frankie’s teacher called the office later and said he was at school so he had already been marked “present” (like that was the important part). I still suggested that perhaps they should indefinitely postpone attendance- or at the very least- postpone calling parents and alarming them until after all the buses had arrived. It was great that they changed their sheet of paper, but did it not occur to them to call back the parents they had called prematurely and apologize for their mistake? Her response was to ignore me so I hung up on her.

Really. How about some common sense?

Reminds me of a few of the chapters in my second book when I talk about some of the craziness I had to deal with, with different agencies after Tim died. By the way, it got released this week!! Check it out when you get a chance. It’s called “Life After Death, On This Side of Heaven.”

Anyhow, I never used to get mad about stuff. Or if I did, I just made the best of it. Now I verbalize my responses. Some would say, “Good for you.” If you are that special guy in my life, you would even say, “You’re welcome” because he has taught me the benefits of anger and sticking up for myself… lol. But I’m sure lots of people would tell me to chill out (no pun intended). Feel free to comment, but beware. If you fall in the latter category, you might just get a call from me :). Just kidding… (sorta).

Author: Help for Healing

My name is Darcy Thiel. What people say they appreciate most about me is my genuine nature. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. My career has many faces, so let me tell you about a few. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State and am a couple and family therapist. As an Adult Planning Specialist and End of Life Doula, I take my experiences with my parents’ and husband's illnesses and passing to help others navigate the crazy, complicated medical world we live in. This dovetails with the books I have written. Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven is an honest and raw perspective on coping with the diagnosis and subsequent loss of Tim, my spouse. I have done extensive speaking on the above topics through live audiences, radio shows, and an occasional TV spot. For more information, see my websites at,, or Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2019. All rights reserved.

4 thoughts on “Common Sense… A Lost Art?

  1. Ugh! We were told to take attendance at the end of pd. 1 since buses were so late; we didn’t want to worry parents. Maybe Frankie should come to school with me? Congratulations on the new release! Looking forward to reading it! ❤

  2. Common sense is not in huge abundance in a school setting. Or perhaps, it’s arrogance, which is often accompanied by lack of common sense. Proof that a masters degree does not guarantee intelligent thought process.

    I see kids running up sidewalks that are dangerous/icy to ‘not be late’. Sidewalks that are icy because the budget calls for cutting corners and saving a dime. Does this make sense to you? Totally unsafe and unnecessary.

    It’s WNY. It’s winter. Chill out 🙂

  3. I was catching up on your blogs and can’t believe the school did that! How scary for you! I also can’t believe the scathing diatribe by Mark that this prompted. Do I agree with what the school did? No. Is an ignorant blast about all educators necessary? I do not think it is. There are plenty of us with “master’s degrees” working hard every day to provide the best educational experience for kids. To denounce an entire profession based on one circumstance at one school is thoughtless. Sorry you are so miserable and feel the need to share it with everyone. Happy Holidays!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s