Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

No Soup For You!


Even though I was not an avid Seinfeld fan, I definitely know about the Soup Nazi.
I know when you do something nice, you aren’t supposed to tell anyone. But I want to share this story with you anyway.

Yesterday, my dad and I went to his doctor’s appointment. We decided to go for something to eat at one of my favorite restaurants on the way home. If you have a favorite restaurant, you probably have a favorite waitress. I generally like all of them there, but one of them is my most favoritest of all.

She is tall, slender, pretty. Reminds me of a dancer or someone like that. Every time I’m in there, she makes me smile. We sat down and looked at the menu. I decided on a salad with chicken and asked what the soup specials were. I told her I would also have a cup of soup. After taking our orders, she kind of disappeared. I thought that was a little unusual.

Anyhow, she brings our food out and my salad is huge. I figured out that she probably forgot my soup, but I went to tell her that if she was still planning on bringing it, I didn’t want it anymore. I couldn’t possibly have room for it. She was apologetic because she didn’t hear me say I wanted some. I assured it that was all meant to be because I couldn’t possibly eat it with how big the salad was.

I sat back down and again she disappeared. Someone else checked on us, but then she reappeared. She brought our check, but also set a brown bag on the table and winked at me. “That’s a little surprise for you for later.” I knew she brought me some soup to take home.

We got chatting and I found out she was in the back because she has been assigned the duty of scheduling everyone. It was stressing her out a bit trying to figure it out. She also just moved in with her mom because she has Alzheimer’s. At night she works another job with People, Inc. with a severely disabled boy. She said she was an organized person but just couldn’t figure out how to keep everything straight.

Well, she told the right person of course. I am a goddess when it comes to organization. And I had just modified my schedule a couple of days earlier to include color coding. Having a fifth job had pushed me over the edge and my client showed me how to add color on my phone. My waitress friend was duly impressed and quite grateful. Dad made some funny comment about how he barely knows how to turn a computer on. She told him he didn’t need to because he was obviously in good hands. 🙂

After she left, I started thinking about her life. She has such a sweet spirit about her. She waits on people for a living. She cares for someone with great special needs. Then she gets to go home between those jobs and at the end of the night and do the most demanding job of caring for a parent with an extremely difficult disease to manage. What a woman.

Dad bought lunch but said I could leave the tip. I was leafing through my wallet to see what I had. Every once in a while, I get a thought that is crystal clear to me about what I need to do. I took out a ten-dollar bill. Now it wasn’t a hundred dollars or anything, but it was half what the bill was. I got a piece of paper out of my notebook and wrote, “You deserve so much more” with a little heart. Dad thought I was nuts when he first saw the amount, but I think he understood.

We left but I couldn’t resist the urge to stay in the foyer and peek through the window. I watched her see the money and the note, get a tremendous smile on her face, then go show her co-workers with pride. She probably doesn’t get thanked for what she does very often. I walked to my car and choked back tears, already formulating the blog I would write. She was the one that made my day by inspiring me with her selfless life and gentle spirit.

Yes, soup for me and it was a wonderful treat later that cold afternoon!

Author: Help for Healing

My name is Darcy Thiel. What people say they appreciate most about me is my genuine nature. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. My career has many faces, so let me tell you about a few. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State and am a couple and family therapist. As an Adult Planning Specialist and End of Life Doula, I take my experiences with my parents’ and husband's illnesses and passing to help others navigate the crazy, complicated medical world we live in. This dovetails with the books I have written. Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven is an honest and raw perspective on coping with the diagnosis and subsequent loss of Tim, my spouse. I have done extensive speaking on the above topics through live audiences, radio shows, and an occasional TV spot. For more information, see my websites at,, or Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2019. All rights reserved.

3 thoughts on “No Soup For You!

  1. I would love to know what your favorite restaurant is and the her name too.


  2. The Olive Branch on Union; oddly enough, i don’t know her name. She is the tallest waitress there if that helps.

  3. aww…what a nice way to end a stressful week! 💖

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