If you’ve known me for a while, you know I’ve struggled with my weight most of my life. I look back now at pictures when I was younger and I think, what was I worried about back then for? The last decade or so, I’ve figured out what the biggest problem actually is. Sugar addiction. Really bad sugar addiction.
Once in my life, I met with a dietician and actually lost 25 pounds. First and last time I ever really had a big success to brag about. Since then, it’s just been that roller coaster thing.
I know when I’ve lost control again. The clue is when you are at your friend’s party and her aunt is waiting in line for the bathroom with you and asks you if this is your first pregnancy. I used to have a rule where anytime I am asked that, I have to get rid of the outfit I was wearing. After all, it must not flatter me, right? That rule didn’t last long when I didn’t have any clothes left. Luckily, that night I was with my super great boyfriend. He told me that in a few hours when we were alone, he would be able to reassure me that I was very attractive. We spent the night joking about “the baby being hungry” and other such lines to make a joke out of it.
The next weekend we were out late and ended up ordering dinner about 11 pm. I ate an entire fish fry and then was still a bit hungry. I joked about the baby being hungry again and I watched his face turn white. He stuttered, “Are you trying to tell me something?” and then I reminded him of the joke. It was hilarious. For me, that is. Poor guy.
Today I was with my dad and sister at the doctor’s. I offered to help this sweet elderly lady ride up the elevator. She didn’t want to go by herself. I was feeling pretty good about myself because she and the staff thought I was so sweet. After the doors closed, she looked at me in her kind voice and asked, “How many months are you?” Sigh. Definitely time to concentrate on losing weight.
We went out to lunch after the doctor’s. Old Country Buffet. Gorge festival. You know the kind of places. You eat until it is painful. My favorites filled my plate (more than once). Carb city. Mashed potatoes, french fries, rolls, mac and cheese.
I WILL concentrate on being more healthy.
Tomorrow I guess.