Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

Computers: Friend or Foe?

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When it comes to phones, home repairs, or computers, those who know me well often say things like this to me: “Gee, you seem to have a lot more problems than anyone else I know.” This is validating, but also adds to my madness. I try to do everything the way I’m supposed to but I still end up pulling my hair out.

Since I’ve had so damn many computer issues, I have a really great friend who is my IT guy. Most of the time he accepts pool and hot tub usage in exchange, but I think he gets the short end of the stick. We have everything set up to be fool-proof. I have a program that backs up my data every single night to an external drive. That way if something happens to my computer, the data won’t be compromised. Then I went the extra mile. I bought another external drive to back up the back up. Two copies of everything. Fool-proof, right?


One of the things I hate on my computer and phone is that “they” can update things without your permission. Makes me crazy. I mean, we pay for the stuff. Why should they be able to have control over the devices? Half the time, it seems to me that the updates are “down” dates. They “fix” things that aren’t broken and create new issues. The last two weeks I have been struggling with Windows 10 and the updates that happen whether you want them to or not.

All of a sudden, I can’t use my computer. I’m not exaggerating. One letter on the keyboard and the thing would spin for almost 10 minutes. I can’t work like that! Turns out, that is the problem was with the new update. You can take it off, but it just keeps putting it back on. My computer eventually started restarting itself over and over, rendering itself completely useless. Guess what happened? My hard drive crashed.

Son of a bitch!

All of the work I have done for the last couple of weeks were saved and showing up daily as current. But apparently, the drive was getting ready to crash so when it backed up every night, it wasn’t backing up my work. The documents I have do not show any of the current work I was doing. That is fun when you go to balance your checkbook (and your dad’s) and realize none of the bills you paid were saved. The rest of the stuff I lost was literally hours of reading and research that has to be redone now.

The highlight of the week was yesterday when I thought I was calling Microsoft. After 45 minutes with this guy, I realized he wasn’t helping me at all. He just kept trying to get me to buy stuff. I tell him to disconnect from my computer but he ignores me. I can’t get to the button to disconnect him because he is controlling my mouse. I was literally insane. I was screaming at the very top of my lungs, calling him every profanity I could think of and he just kept deleting crap on my computer. Turns out the number I called was not legitimate. That was great, because losing all my work and being unable to do any current work wasn’t stressful or dramatic enough.


Anyhow, slowly piecing things back together but I’m sure it will take a lot of time to get things operating normally again. Love the technology most of the time, but man, sometimes I want to literally throw it out the window. Am I the only one?

Author: Help for Healing

My name is Darcy Thiel. What people say they appreciate most about me is my genuine nature. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. My career has many faces, so let me tell you about a few. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY State and am a couple and family therapist. As an Adult Planning Specialist and End of Life Doula, I take my experiences with my parents’ and husband's illnesses and passing to help others navigate the crazy, complicated medical world we live in. This dovetails with the books I have written. Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer, the prequel to Life After Death, on This Side of Heaven is an honest and raw perspective on coping with the diagnosis and subsequent loss of Tim, my spouse. I have done extensive speaking on the above topics through live audiences, radio shows, and an occasional TV spot. For more information, see my websites at,, or Copyright Help for Healing by Darcy Thiel © 2012-2019. All rights reserved.

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