Well, nobody is perfect.
I said to Frankie, “Hey, remember when you were younger and I asked you to write my blog and you did?”
“Yeah, but I’m not writing it again.”
“Come on! I’m looking at a blank screen.”
“Well, think of something.”
“Frankie! At least give me an idea.”
“Fine, Mom. Write about how you ate all of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch this week.”
Last week I blogged about my attempts to eat and sleep better. I am happy to report that I did follow through with what I said I would. I set up an alarm appointment that reminded me to go to bed at 11 pm. Last night was my first night at 10:45. Unfortunately, I couldn’t fall asleep for anything.
I also set an alarm for 8 am to drink a protein shake. I am happy to say I either did that or ate bran flakes every morning to start off the day correctly. I haven’t felt like it is habit yet though, but soon I am hoping to add “no eating after 9 pm” then gradually work back to 7 pm.
I try. I really do. I have no idea if I’ve lost weight or not, but I try not to focus too much on pounds anyway. The goal is to be healthier. I don’t think that is just rhetoric, I really believe it’s an important dynamic to success.
But I still fail miserably sometimes. I might eat well all day, but at 10 pm I will eat something I shouldn’t. Thus the Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I knocked off a box the other night, which consisted of two really full bowls plus another half. Frankie informed me he doesn’t eat it anymore anyway, so I told him I won’t buy it. He said I buy it for me because I want it, and I told him that of course I WANT it, but I try not to eat sugar cereals so I really WON’T buy it anymore if he isn’t going to eat it.
He’s such a tattle tale. When he was really little, we went across the street to a neighbor’s party. I walked into the living room after visiting outside for a while to find a room of laughing adults. Frankie was in the center. He was telling them all about his mom’s Wii-Fit program. It has my weight down to a tenth of a gram. Also my BMI. He also delighted in showing the crowd several of my non-sexy exercise poses.
I went to a birthday party last weekend where we had a homemade cake from scratch with dark chocolate ice cream on the side. My “always eats healthy” friend mentioned a cake recipe that replaces sugar with beets. I could have died. I yelled out to the guests, “Anyone interested in a cake made with beets instead of sugar?” He almost slugged me. Definitely not me.
I will never be good at this weight and eating stuff. Never. But I also probably won’t ever stop trying to at least move in the right direction. As they say in Alanon, “Progress, not perfection!” Amen, sister.