Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief


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Anger with every Paragraph

As I continue to pursue my next career step, I was advised to read a few books. I just finished “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande which I loved every minute of. I felt validated with a lot of the beliefs I’ve come to in this work, and I learned some new things where I am trying to make adjustments in my thought process as I try to assist others.

Now I am reading “An American Sickness” by Elisabeth Rosenthal. It is also validating, but it comes with extreme frustration. Almost every paragraph I read makes me angry all over again, learning about the things that happen in our medical system across our country.  Things that I have suspected and felt, but now know there is plenty of fact to back it up.

The kicker was reading about Medicare and the observation status problem for patients. It was exactly what happened with my father before Thanksgiving. I blogged about it and the madness of trying to get his care covered by insurance. The last paragraph of that chapter informed me of a law that Obama passed in 2015. Had I known about it, I would have kicked that hospital’s ass. They were definitely not even close to compliant, but were very clear what they would NOT do to help us because of their strict compliance to law. I mean, I do a pretty good job fighting for my dad, but if I keep learning more information, I really feel sorry for these folks in the future. Education is power!

I have mentioned several times in blogs and my books how much I respect my doctor. She is incredibly knowledgeable and very thorough. She truly cares about me and my family. But sometimes I have run ins with the staff, which unfortunately makes the same systematic mistakes that most health systems do.

This last week was very frustrating and maddening. Hell, I was ridiculously pissed off. When you are sick and scared, the last thing you need is to have unnecessary conflict with your medical team. I was told over four days, by three different health professionals on the phone that I definitely had the respiratory flu. I was prescribed antibiotics, told by another to throw them out, then told that the second doctor shouldn’t have had me throw them out.  By day four, I wasn’t any better with any of the medications I was taking, prescribed or otherwise.

In spite of being treated like an over-reactive hypochondriac, I called back yet again. I was finally sent to get a chest x-ray, which was the first time I had any kind of medical person actually see me. Pneumonia. Crap. Now they don’t know if I had the flu and it caused pneumonia, or I just had pneumonia all along. And it is too late to be swabbed now so I will never know. It’s important though because the contagion and treatment are very different for the two conditions.

I am going in tomorrow, a week after I first called to see the doc, just to make sure things are going in the right direction. I was able to talk to my favorite nurse today and she explained a lot to me. She explained that people tend to say that everyone gets pneumonia now but that it is indeed life threatening. I probably won’t fully recover for six months. And I absolutely have to sleep and rest and take it easy. (None of this was told to me before now.)

That’s always hard for me. My life requires a lot of time commitment and energy. If I don’t feel well, it is easier for me to hold back. But when I feel ok, it is difficult for me to remember that I am not fully recovered and I still need to take it easy. The steroid phase is really a factor as well. I remember vividly from Tim that steroids treat symptoms but not the disease. Tim looked great and worked but he was literally a few weeks away from death.

My poor dog doesn’t understand why she doesn’t get her long walks. And I have to just keep telling myself to slow down, rest, expect less of myself, etc.. I will feel better though after having the doc actually see me in person tomorrow as well.

Always try to educate yourself as the consumer. Unfortunately, even at the best of places, you still have to fight and advocate for yourself or your loved one. Your life could literally depend on it.