Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

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Computers: Friend or Foe?

When it comes to phones, home repairs, or computers, those who know me well often say things like this to me: “Gee, you seem to have a lot more problems than anyone else I know.” This is validating, but also adds to my madness. I try to do everything the way I’m supposed to but I still end up pulling my hair out.

Since I’ve had so damn many computer issues, I have a really great friend who is my IT guy. Most of the time he accepts pool and hot tub usage in exchange, but I think he gets the short end of the stick. We have everything set up to be fool-proof. I have a program that backs up my data every single night to an external drive. That way if something happens to my computer, the data won’t be compromised. Then I went the extra mile. I bought another external drive to back up the back up. Two copies of everything. Fool-proof, right?


One of the things I hate on my computer and phone is that “they” can update things without your permission. Makes me crazy. I mean, we pay for the stuff. Why should they be able to have control over the devices? Half the time, it seems to me that the updates are “down” dates. They “fix” things that aren’t broken and create new issues. The last two weeks I have been struggling with Windows 10 and the updates that happen whether you want them to or not.

All of a sudden, I can’t use my computer. I’m not exaggerating. One letter on the keyboard and the thing would spin for almost 10 minutes. I can’t work like that! Turns out, that is the problem was with the new update. You can take it off, but it just keeps putting it back on. My computer eventually started restarting itself over and over, rendering itself completely useless. Guess what happened? My hard drive crashed.

Son of a bitch!

All of the work I have done for the last couple of weeks were saved and showing up daily as current. But apparently, the drive was getting ready to crash so when it backed up every night, it wasn’t backing up my work. The documents I have do not show any of the current work I was doing. That is fun when you go to balance your checkbook (and your dad’s) and realize none of the bills you paid were saved. The rest of the stuff I lost was literally hours of reading and research that has to be redone now.

The highlight of the week was yesterday when I thought I was calling Microsoft. After 45 minutes with this guy, I realized he wasn’t helping me at all. He just kept trying to get me to buy stuff. I tell him to disconnect from my computer but he ignores me. I can’t get to the button to disconnect him because he is controlling my mouse. I was literally insane. I was screaming at the very top of my lungs, calling him every profanity I could think of and he just kept deleting crap on my computer. Turns out the number I called was not legitimate. That was great, because losing all my work and being unable to do any current work wasn’t stressful or dramatic enough.


Anyhow, slowly piecing things back together but I’m sure it will take a lot of time to get things operating normally again. Love the technology most of the time, but man, sometimes I want to literally throw it out the window. Am I the only one?

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It has been three weeks since I have blogged. I know I have missed a week here and there, but I don’t think I’ve ever missed two weeks in a row except when I had that planned hiatus. You would think I would be boiling over with words to write, but I am actually struggling.

The first week I missed, I was sick. Like could barely sit up sick. Tons of people are. My office is full of clients that compete with me for coughing time. This episode has been dragging on forever. I get better, then I get worse again. I could feel myself fighting it for a week, then I woke without a voice. Then a few days later, it became full-blown sickness. I got an antibiotic so I could still fly to my vacation in Myrtle Beach. The first two days I felt much better. Then we went horseback riding on the beach and I got sick all over again. It was totally worth it, though. Riding was awesome.

I got so bad that I had to go to urgent care or there was no way I could fly home without rupturing an ear drum. Of course, they wouldn’t accept my insurance so I had to pay for the visit and the steroid shot, but I got better and came home. A couple days later, I felt worse again. Up and down. Now I just have to work hard to find my proper voice sometimes, but I don’t really feel sick anymore.

The second week I didn’t blog, was because my computer had crashed. I didn’t even think computers crashed anymore. My phone didn’t work for almost two weeks and after battling with Verizon (shocking, I know) I finally got a different phone. Two days later, my computer crashed. I have no idea why, but in all fairness, the extent of the damage was my fault. I called my IT guy and he told me to shut it off. I said ok, but when the computer screen asked me if I wanted the computer to repair itself, I couldn’t resist saying yes. It repaired itself all right, right back to factory settings. My IT guy wanted to wring my neck.

He was able to save my files, but I lost over 400 email addresses. I lost about five years of important saved emails with registration information and other stuff. And I lost three years of photo information. I still have the photos, but the organization, data, and the collection information is all gone. It will take about three months to restore all of that. Anyhow, that was my excuse for not blogging. I could have logged into another computer to blog, but that would require my log in information. That was in a document in my computer that hadn’t gotten rescued yet, so no-go.

So this week, life is relatively boring. I am done traveling all over the place. I am not so sick. My phone and computer are both working. I’m done crying in my soup about the years’ worth of work I lost. I am experiencing something I was craving the entire month of February- consistency. Contentment. Calmness. Hmm… all C words. Not the usual craziness, another C word. I gained back four pounds during all those weeks I was off track, but I’m back on the course I need to be. Just a pound short of my original success.

But here’s the thing. Ted’s Hot Dogs is having a customer appreciation day. Hot dogs are only 99 cents. Maybe I will celebrate my drama-free week with a diet cheat. Celebrate, another C word. :)!!