Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief


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Footloose and Fancy-Free

Um, that is not me these days. After 16 months of foot pain, the surgery finally happened last Tuesday. It is called Topaz and they drill little holes in the tissue above the ankle which causes blood flow. Blood flow supports healing. This time, no ice or ibprofin. Inflammation is a good thing because it means the blood is flowing.

If you know me, you are aware I’m a bit of a workaholic which generally means I don’t follow medical orders well. This time, I have been the model, compliant patient. I’m not taking any chances on this.

Compared to other things, this foot thing isn’t so bad. I’ve worn an aircast 24 hours a day for the last week, along with a compression stocking on the other foot. The annoying part is sleeping with them because I get ridiculously hot.

Foot and Ankle Cast - Royalty-free Orthopedic Boot Stock Photo

This morning was the first day I was allowed out of bed. Yesterday was the longest day of my life. I wanted to jump out of my skin. I couldn’t wait for today to try and establish some kind of normalcy again, even though I know this will still take a lot of time. I was out of sorts until night time when I finally figured out what to send Tim for. Lucky Charms. A couple bowls of that made me very happy.

When I woke up, I took my shower with the plastic bag. This time I stood on my own instead of sitting while Tim used the handheld showerhead. I couldn’t believe those ten minutes on my own wore me out. I went back to bed immediately and slept for a solid two hours.

Two out of three meetings were canceled. One out of two sessions rescheduled. Thank God. It’s now 7 pm and I’m worn out, even with the napping. Tomorrow morning I see the doc for post-op and I’m hoping he will shed some light on what is next. The surgery went well, but there is no way of knowing if it worked until I start walking again. Not sure how long that is going to take but I know I won’t shortcut the process. I can’t afford to not have this be successful.

As usual, the thing I have been reminded of is not to take your health for granted. The smallest things are the biggest reminders. I know I can’t walk without crutches and I can’t walk far. But when I sit on the bed and see the dresser a few feet away but I can’t go pick up the comb, that’s when I realize just how helpless I can be. I realize how much I have to depend on other people.

And of course, I realize that so much of my day is filled with things I think are necessary, but they really aren’t. Even though I got cabin fever by the end of the week, there was something nice about the simplicity I was reduced to when I had to stay in bed. Lots of “noise” gets cut out.

Folks around me are going through more difficult things. A surgery with a large mass. The loss of a parent. I will take this small bump in the road. Besides, just about anything is bearable with Lucky Charms!