Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief

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Tarzan and Teeth

Last night I slept for 14 hours. I couldn’t believe it. I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time. Then I had to go to the dentist. Over the fourth of July weekend, one of my veneers fell off. It happens way too often. This time the dentist said we should just get a crown done. I agree. Of course my insurance doesn’t pay for it, but he offered me a great deal so I said to go for it.

That meant a shot so my face was numb for quite a while. Oops. He’s a good dentist but the drill slipped and he hit my gums. Not quite numb enough. That hurt like hell and I could taste the blood fill my mouth up. I go back in another month to get the crown put on.

Suddenly, the amount of sleep I had didn’t matter. I felt like crap again. No time to worry about it though. Off I go to run errands. First the pharmacy. Two for me and one for Frankie. He had an allergic reaction to a medicine over the fourth of July weekend so we had to get a replacement. Poor kid.

Then the lawnmower repair place. Dropped off a part. Have to get it tomorrow. Phew, that was relatively uneventful.

Groceries next. I go to Aldi’s and I pack my groceries in the back hatch of my car. We were down to almost nothing in the house so it was an overloaded cart. I open the trunk. Damn. I forgot. With all the moving at Dad’s, I have boxes and blankets filling it up to take back to his place. I move them all to the back seat and finish loading the groceries.

Driving home, I decided I deserved an iced capp or something. When I got to Tim Horton’s I discovered they have iced lemonade. That made me very happy because McDonald’s decided not to this year which was massively disappointing. I get my luscious lemonade and head home. Damn. Not so luscious. I forgot my face is half numb which makes it very difficult to drink through a straw. You would have enjoyed a video watching that one.

Next task is walking the dog. Taffy didn’t get a walk yesterday so she was really ready to go. I opened the back seat door to let her in. Crap. Now I have the boxes and blankets in the back seat so I could put the groceries in. I move them all back to the hatch again. Honestly, do you ever just feel like you are spinning in circles? Story of my life today… LOL.

What does all this have to do with Tarzan? Not a damn thing. Just wanted to tell you I saw Tarzan two nights ago with some friends and it was stupendous. Very intense. I haven’t been all worked up like that over a movie in a while. The social injustice, the character that you need to see dead by the end of the movie or life just isn’t right, all that stuff. I know it’s a legend but I’m curious if any of it is true. Very strong and poignant moments if you are conscious about the world at all. Just loved it.

Now that I’ve said all the grown-up stuff, let’s face it. The best part is that Tarzan is more than eye-candy. He make me want to be Jane. Me Jane. Holy crap, he is one fine specimen of a male. I sighed several times, especially after he was only in his loin cloth. Raised by apes, maybe, but less of an ape that most of the men I’ve met. Hot, hot, hot. Seriously, you should go watch it if you haven’t.

I need to go take a shower now. Cold.


Movies and Mistakes

I’ve always loved movies. I could care less about having a TV, but I would be lost without a DVD player. I generally watch a lot of movies, but lately I’ve really been immersed. I’ve been home a lot of nights and unable to figure out the mystery of how to get my kids to talk to me (about ANYTHING at all) so I’ve been watching even more movies than usual.

I watched one called “About Time.” It was an interesting and thought-provoking plot. The young male, upon on his 21st birthday, discovers that he can travel in time. There are a few rules, though. He can only go backwards to revisit things he had already experienced, no future time travel. So initially, he uses his new found ability to go back and correct mistakes and eliminate regrets. I thought about what I would do if I had that ability. There would never be anything to apologize for or wish you had handled differently.

He learns some things along the way. One thing, was that no matter how many times he revisited a certain situation, it never worked out the way he wanted. There are just some people you can’t please. No matter what. So there is really no point in wasting your time and energy trying. You finally learn to not bother.

Another poignant moment, was when he went back in time to help his sister alter her own life for the better. The scope of the effect was positively great, but he discovered his own child was no longer the same child when he went back to real time. Ah. His wise father explained that there is one sperm and one egg and if you change any circumstances whatsoever, the sperm changes and thus the human being. Once you have brought a child into the world, there is no going back to “redo” things in time after the moment of conception without altering your child’s very existence.

Maybe some things (including mistakes and heartaches), are part of the bigger picture and need to happen.

It was sad when the character’s dad dies, because they have an awesome relationship. But then you realize that even death has no grip. He could just time travel back to his favorite ping-pong game and spend time with his dad whenever he wanted. Holy cow, that would be really be something. A world without loss!

Until his wife gets pregnant again. And then he realizes, that for life to go on, he has to truly say goodbye to his dearly loved father (because he can’t go back once conception occurs).

Maybe some things are meant to end. Maybe even death is part of the big picture. Maybe relationships stop at some point. And maybe that is not some horrible limitation, but it is for the greater good.

The biggest lesson of all? He stopped time travelling. He stopped going back. He just let himself live day to day. He figured out life was best lived that way, mistakes and all.