Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief


Movies and Mistakes

I’ve always loved movies. I could care less about having a TV, but I would be lost without a DVD player. I generally watch a lot of movies, but lately I’ve really been immersed. I’ve been home a lot of nights and unable to figure out the mystery of how to get my kids to talk to me (about ANYTHING at all) so I’ve been watching even more movies than usual.

I watched one called “About Time.” It was an interesting and thought-provoking plot. The young male, upon on his 21st birthday, discovers that he can travel in time. There are a few rules, though. He can only go backwards to revisit things he had already experienced, no future time travel. So initially, he uses his new found ability to go back and correct mistakes and eliminate regrets. I thought about what I would do if I had that ability. There would never be anything to apologize for or wish you had handled differently.

He learns some things along the way. One thing, was that no matter how many times he revisited a certain situation, it never worked out the way he wanted. There are just some people you can’t please. No matter what. So there is really no point in wasting your time and energy trying. You finally learn to not bother.

Another poignant moment, was when he went back in time to help his sister alter her own life for the better. The scope of the effect was positively great, but he discovered his own child was no longer the same child when he went back to real time. Ah. His wise father explained that there is one sperm and one egg and if you change any circumstances whatsoever, the sperm changes and thus the human being. Once you have brought a child into the world, there is no going back to “redo” things in time after the moment of conception without altering your child’s very existence.

Maybe some things (including mistakes and heartaches), are part of the bigger picture and need to happen.

It was sad when the character’s dad dies, because they have an awesome relationship. But then you realize that even death has no grip. He could just time travel back to his favorite ping-pong game and spend time with his dad whenever he wanted. Holy cow, that would be really be something. A world without loss!

Until his wife gets pregnant again. And then he realizes, that for life to go on, he has to truly say goodbye to his dearly loved father (because he can’t go back once conception occurs).

Maybe some things are meant to end. Maybe even death is part of the big picture. Maybe relationships stop at some point. And maybe that is not some horrible limitation, but it is for the greater good.

The biggest lesson of all? He stopped time travelling. He stopped going back. He just let himself live day to day. He figured out life was best lived that way, mistakes and all.