Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief


They Come in Three’s?

I’m sure you have heard it said that bad things come in three’s. I’ve heard it with regards to people dying, getting sick, things breaking. You know, just about anything applies.

I’m here to disagree. Sometimes, the universe just doesn’t add correctly. I prefer to think that rather than wonder if I’m just starting another set of three. Wouldn’t you?

Let’s see. Last week, my hot tub stopped working. I usually close it in the winter, but this year I kept it open. It was warm out until the last week in December so I just kept using it. Now it doesn’t make sense to pay almost two hundred dollars to close it when I will just open it in three months anyway. So I went out to do the weekly chemical check and discovered the water was cold as there was no power going to it. No worries, I know what to do. I flip the outlet/reset switch. That doesn’t work. I go to the basement. The breaker isn’t tripped, but I click it back and forth just to be sure. Nothing.

Luckily, it was not a costly or difficult repair. I was initially panicked because I could see the pipes freezing and exploding. It needs a new breaker in the spring, but for now, the problem appears to be there is a leak around the breaker so water is getting in. Then it freezes and you can’t reset the breaker because it’s frozen inside. So far, so good. It hasn’t frozen again.

Number two was waking up Friday morning to discover the fridge wasn’t working. THAT is not good. I helped Colin move all the food as quickly as we could. We have a small freezer in the basement and we were able to fit everything in like a puzzle. For the fridge stuff, we have a small beverage fridge. Colin got everything in there but I truly don’t know how. I opened the door and quickly closed it again. If someone breathed on it, everything would have fallen like dominoes.

Of course this occurred on a day when I had a two-hour meeting, a four-hour class, and another hour and a half meeting. I was trying to find service people in between everything from the car or wherever I was. After several phone calls, I found someone to come out. I figured it had to be cheaper than paying the $580 for an extended warranty. Colin kept in touch by text and said it was fixed. It cost $180 and he moved all the food back to the fridge and freezer.

Phew. Until I got the next text. He said the fridge had stopped working again and he had to move all the food out. AGAIN. Now I’m panicked. It’s Friday afternoon and all the folks I called said they don’t work on weekends. I am out the money now too. Eventually, my friend was able to come out and check. We were relieved to know the fridge was indeed fixed. When you start to put food back in, the temps will go all over the place. I didn’t blame Colin. I would have thought it was broken too. That was one stressful day, but all in all, $180 wasn’t so bad.

Bad luck comes in three’s so the next day my car started having problems. I thought I hit something big in the road because of the jolt and noise the car made, but I could find nothing in the road. The next day, the car did it several times. The hockey parents said it sounded like the transmission. Crap. I prayed I would get us home safely and called the dealership the next morning.

Good news, it wasn’t the transmission. It was the four-wheel drive trying to adjust and it “hops” when doing so. This is due to the flat tire I had a couple of months ago and uneven tread. But of course they find another problem as well. A $140 later, I had my car back. A lot of aggravation and time, but again, not so bad financially. And I got my three things over with in the same week so I’m good for a while.

Wrong. Today I went to ride my new exercise bike. I got it mid-November because of the pre-diabetic diagnosis. I’ve been riding it every other day faithfully, slowly building up my time. I was up to 18 minutes. Today I went to get on it and it was making a weird sound. I also could barely pedal it. Are you kidding me? It’s still like new! And didn’t it get the memo? I already had my three!

As I’m typing, I’ve been on hold for 29 minutes with Nordic Track. No one has even answered yet. That’s ok, cause I have nothing better to do. LOL. I prefer to think my Murphy’s Law is in a series of four. Otherwise, I have two more break downs coming this week and I really, really don’t want that to be the case.

And of course, one of my best friends- the one I usually call first for EVERYTHING is out of commission for the entire month. I am proud of myself for managing on my own, but I definitely miss his wisdom. Sigh.

I would go make some hot cocoa while I sit on the phone for another hour, but I can’t have the sugar. I will have to settle for a rousing game of solitaire. If I ever get off the phone, maybe I will attempt to use my snow shoes seeing as I can’t exercise on the bike. Good motivation!



I’ve heard a couple of comments lately about how sometimes I make choices that make my life more complicated and stressful. Perhaps my life is “as chaotic as I let it be.”

It’s true. To some extent, I have to admit it’s true.

On the other hand, I defend my choices. I invest in people. It’s the career I chose. I invest in my friends and family. Do I worry too much about other people’s feelings? Sometimes to my own detriment? It’s true. I’m sure I do. But if I’m going to make an error, I would rather it would be to care too much about others rather than not caring enough. Is that my choice? Yes, I guess it is.

The trick then, is to admit my stress and frustration without being a martyr. Women are generally prone to be martyrs. Sorry ladies, that’s just my opinion. So I think it’s ok to admit I’m hurt, or anger, or whatever, but also not be a victim. I make the choices I make and therefore have to live with the good and bad sides of those choices.

There has been lots of normal life stresses around here, just more than usual. The winter kicked my house’s butt. There has been a very long list of projects to do and things to fix. I have lots of people in my life who try to help me out in practical ways. Lots. I’m very lucky. Honestly though, if I had a lot more financial wiggle room, I truly think I would just hire people to do everything. I really would. Then I don’t have to bother anyone else. Life would be simpler. Easier. Less chaotic.

But I haven’t won the lottery yet so here I am. (Yes, I know I have to start playing the lottery in order to win it but I just haven’t got there.) Lots of people to help. Everyone has wicked schedules and their own jobs to do. When can they come? And everyone has a different idea of the best way to solve the problem. Those different solutions all have their own merits and drawbacks.

So my schedule is completely out of whack. People are here on and off all the time. I hurt people’s feelings without meaning to. They hurt mine. I assume they don’t mean to either. Personality differences. Skill differences. Time differences. All adds up to stress.

I guess I will keep making my choices, and I will keep living with the results that are both good and bad. And all those people in my life will have to make their choices too. Can they live with the way I do things? Or is it too crazy? And the people who I’m really close to, know me. They will listen to me, offer me a hug, and put up with my occasional whining. Because anyone that knows me, knows I would never ever hurt or frustrate anyone on purpose. They know I am DEEPLY grateful for all the things people help me with, even if I get frustrated sometimes. And they know that I will never stop investing in people. Nothing else is more important to me. And from my perspective, nothing else should be. Windows and paint and doors will come and go. People are what is eternal. I get it.

Happy Easter everyone!