Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief


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It has been three weeks since I have blogged. I know I have missed a week here and there, but I don’t think I’ve ever missed two weeks in a row except when I had that planned hiatus. You would think I would be boiling over with words to write, but I am actually struggling.

The first week I missed, I was sick. Like could barely sit up sick. Tons of people are. My office is full of clients that compete with me for coughing time. This episode has been dragging on forever. I get better, then I get worse again. I could feel myself fighting it for a week, then I woke without a voice. Then a few days later, it became full-blown sickness. I got an antibiotic so I could still fly to my vacation in Myrtle Beach. The first two days I felt much better. Then we went horseback riding on the beach and I got sick all over again. It was totally worth it, though. Riding was awesome.
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I got so bad that I had to go to urgent care or there was no way I could fly home without rupturing an ear drum. Of course, they wouldn’t accept my insurance so I had to pay for the visit and the steroid shot, but I got better and came home. A couple days later, I felt worse again. Up and down. Now I just have to work hard to find my proper voice sometimes, but I don’t really feel sick anymore.

The second week I didn’t blog, was because my computer had crashed. I didn’t even think computers crashed anymore. My phone didn’t work for almost two weeks and after battling with Verizon (shocking, I know) I finally got a different phone. Two days later, my computer crashed. I have no idea why, but in all fairness, the extent of the damage was my fault. I called my IT guy and he told me to shut it off. I said ok, but when the computer screen asked me if I wanted the computer to repair itself, I couldn’t resist saying yes. It repaired itself all right, right back to factory settings. My IT guy wanted to wring my neck.

He was able to save my files, but I lost over 400 email addresses. I lost about five years of important saved emails with registration information and other stuff. And I lost three years of photo information. I still have the photos, but the organization, data, and the collection information is all gone. It will take about three months to restore all of that. Anyhow, that was my excuse for not blogging. I could have logged into another computer to blog, but that would require my log in information. That was in a document in my computer that hadn’t gotten rescued yet, so no-go.

So this week, life is relatively boring. I am done traveling all over the place. I am not so sick. My phone and computer are both working. I’m done crying in my soup about the years’ worth of work I lost. I am experiencing something I was craving the entire month of February- consistency. Contentment. Calmness. Hmm… all C words. Not the usual craziness, another C word. I gained back four pounds during all those weeks I was off track, but I’m back on the course I need to be. Just a pound short of my original success.

But here’s the thing. Ted’s Hot Dogs is having a customer appreciation day. Hot dogs are only 99 cents. Maybe I will celebrate my drama-free week with a diet cheat. Celebrate, another C word. :)!!