Help for Healing

Bitter & Sweet, living daily with grief


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Yes, I’m Really Gonna Try That Again

Dave has decided he wants to be a personal trainer. We won’t discuss the fact that he thinks he doesn’t need a college education. I just won’t even talk about that part because I GET TOO MAD.

Anyhow, I’ve done nothing but gain weight since a) I have a significant other and b) I had my surgery in October and my foot isn’t even remotely better yet and c) oh yeah, I love sugar.

Recently, I just got told I can walk Taffy three times a week, never two days in a row. I can only go less than a mile and I can’t go in the woods. That is the extent of the exercise my foot gets.

In a moment of insanity, I thought that I could support my son and improve myself at the same time so I asked him to come up with an exercise plan for me. Tim joined the gym a while ago and he is allowed to bring a guest so maybe if I go with him, he will start going too.

I detest the gym. I detest exercise. I really, really, really do. But Dave immediately got into it and planned my routine. We are going to video him doing the exercises because I know I won’t remember how to use the equipment. When I asked him what to blog about today, he told me to blog about this so I guess he’s into it.

Lord help me. I’m not sure when we will start, but I really need to do something. Maybe this plan will be good for all of us in different ways. If you are someone that prays, now is the time to start. I mean pray with all your might because this goes against every molecule in my body.

This is one area where the apple falls far, far from the tree. Look at how ripped this kid is!

I can’t even fathom this is my son!


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Crab Legs

Dave eating oysters at Myrtle BeachIt’s Thursday. It’s blog day. I’m blank. Brigitte says to take a walk in the sunshine because it will inspire me. I take a walk in the sunshine. I’m still blank.

I say to Frankie, what should I blog about? He says crab legs and clams. He LOVES crab legs and clams. He won’t eat a hamburg like a normal kid, but he loves those slimy seafood. Oysters too. Yuck.

But he got me thinking about things I am crazy about. It is definitely not slimy food. But food in general? Yep, that’s totally me. Love, love, love to eat food.

I’m not a lazy person by any stretch of the imagination. When it comes to food though, I do NOT like to work for my food. Crab legs aren’t slimy, but they are a lot of work. So is lobster. Too much work for me. I want instant gratification. That’s why buffets are NOT good for my waistline.

I was walking in the woods today with Taffy and ran into a woman walking her two dogs. I recognized her but don’t know her name. She tells me how sick she is of the cold and that she has gained six pounds. I laughed and told her I finally weighed myself on Monday and found out I had gained six pounds too. She said she had fifteen to lose BEFORE the winter started. I laughed again and said that I did too. Not that we really thought it was funny, but what are you going to do? Crying is the only other option.

So after the Monday weigh-in shock (although why I was shocked I have no idea), I started to more earnestly try to eat more healthy. I know exactly what to do, I just need to focus and be disciplined.

That’s all it took. Just a mental decision to try to do better. Since then, I have felt hungry all the time. I want to eat constantly. I went and bought fresh fruits and vegetables, but I crave ice cream like I was pregnant or something. Or chips. Or cookies. Or bread. Or any kind of carbs. Or any kind of sugar.

Ridiculous. My jeans are tight. They actually cut into my skin. That’s enough to motivate anyone, right? So I’m going to keep trying. Right after I eat that one ice cream bar that is left in my freezer :).